Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
