But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
