My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
