Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
