He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
