Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
