You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
