Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
