Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
