Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize