I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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