I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize