Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
