Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
