I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
