you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
