I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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