dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
