I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
