You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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