maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize