he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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