I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
