Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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