Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
