can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
