You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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