I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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