I'm sorry my penis didn't work
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
