oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
