Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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