I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
