awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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