They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize