I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
