my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
