did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
