im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
