I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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