with your own penis?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
