I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
