It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
