Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
