I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
