We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
