Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize