I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize