i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
