love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
