why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
