Can i not drive my cunt home
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
