Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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