for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
