this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I am midnight drunk by noon
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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