when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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