it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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