week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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