Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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