I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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