You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Non-Jews are for practice
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
