my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
