Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
