The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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