they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
