In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
