ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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