i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
