That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You are a genius and a whore.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
